Random Thoughts Trying To Get It Together

When going through life learnings of who I am and where I am is a difficult part of understanding when I learned of the force of spirituality is behind it all.  The things of life events are so questionable no reason not to believe I am where I am suppose to be, nothing happen by mistakes, and my is life is pre-written so what is the reason should I believe that not everyone don't think like that. Just as that last statement is how the feeling of learning things are messed up when I want to do the right thing.  I must know the plan if I want to feel correct.

 I believe I must accept the part of the plan I play and it is not pretty. I was looking up more knowledge of different people of the same interest for the first time and the only way I came to received this knowledge is to sacrifice an important family event.

The way society has me thinking is not something they would agree with their way of structurally building human society for the better.  Life has me go through rough bull and unnecessary problems and pain towards others directly/indirectly and towards myself. I had to bad things in order to learn of the problems with the people.  Spirit controls everything for the fight of bringing me and others back to IT. I am on the lowest platform to rebuild in what I believe. Our black upper middle class at least in my neck of the woods are not teaching our children anything worth importance other than material items.

When I talk with and to the youth on a basic conversation it is sad to hear what they talk about (booty, gangs shootings, and not forget where the best drugs are sold) and the people that can teach them something had sold out long time ago and do not even see or do not want to see of Higher Power and/or higher development of spiritual growth. It is hard for me to explain at this moment just this way of society thinking is not to productive for a positive future.

Government gives me trinkets to look at so I will stop seeing the real high growth in the world. Have more, get more, see nothing of what is being done by them. The first thing I notice is to kill my spirit with violence, drugs, sex, and money.

As a black society from my understanding we are born with an aggressive gene which is not utilize properly we will tend to kill, steal, and keep the next person down or out of the way.